My Fear Gremlin

I started a new online painting class today.  It’s called BIG.  A Fearless Painting Adventure.  Here’s the class description:

BIG is an online FEARLESS® Painting Adventures where artists are invited to strengthen their trust in their innate wisdom,  deepen their connection to Creative Source, and become more confidant in expressing themselves as an Artist.  All through the use of  a paintbrush!


The first lesson was Fearless Scribble Painting.  We were just supposed to scribble on BIG paper with lots of BIG paint.  It’s all about the process, according to Connie, our fearless leader.  NOT the product!  Ugh.  That’s a tough one for me.

In her PDF that accompanies the video lesson, she talks about the Fear Gremlin:

He likes to chirp in whenever things are about to challenge the status quo.  He likes to make a fashionable cameo anytime I’m debating change or especially when I’m right there sitting on my edge and about to grow.  Oh yeah, the fear gremlin he hates growth.  He hates change.  He hates anything that might lead me into a BIGger sense of me.

She goes on to talk about the fear gremlin’s reaction to the first exercise.  Boy, did she hit it on the head!  My fear gremlin had all SORTS of excuses why I should just skip the first silly scribbly exercise and move onto something more “real.”

So I’m going to warn you…once your fear gremlin hears about the FEARLESS Scribble painting it’s going to get his wheels turning!! He’ll be over to your place in a flash–armed with heavy artillery of reasons and excuses why you shouldn’t waste your time–reasons why this is stupid, ridiculous, pointless, dumb—reasons why you can’t do it–reasons why there is not enough time, paint, space, money, resources etc. etc.

Mine said ALL those things and more!

Fear gremlins are full of excuses.  That’s what they do best.  Fear gremlins will tell you something is a waste of time, stupid, ridiculous, point-less, worthless, failing, silly,  bad, poor, not good, all of the above, and much more negative hee haw!  Some fear gremlins also try to trick you into believing they have a degree in finance and will start throwing out numbers to try to trick you into not doing what you know deep in your heart would bring you great joy and growth.

Yep!  What she said!

So I took her advice, ignored the fear gremlin chattering away in my head, and took my new BIG art journal and my new BIG paintbrushes, and started scribbling and flinging paint everywhere!

Lesson #1–Do NOT scribble paint BIG in clothes you actually like.  In fact, after a few flings, I decided it was time to strip down to just an ugly apron.

Lesson #2–I need a new apron!

Lesson #3–Between paint flying everywhere and hot flashes, naked apron painting is definitely the way to go!


Lesson #4–Maybe I DON’T need a new kitchen floor any time soon.  Mine took a beating this morning, and tiny purple paint speckles aren’t that easy to scrub off.

Lesson #5–Perhaps I should take my BIG painting outside where I don’t have to clean the floor.  But how do I reconcile that with lesson #3.  I’m not sure what the neighbors would think if I take my naked apron painting outdoors!

So…  I started scribbling away with my big paint brushes.  According to Connie, if you listen, your painting will talk to you and tell you what it needs.  My scribbles told me they needed a FACE!  And what better face than that of my FEAR GREMLIN.  My fear gremlin was bright green today, and very stern looking.


Best lesson of the day… BIG painting, and even scribble painting, was actually fun!

4 thoughts on “My Fear Gremlin

  1. Heard your Dad chuckling before I looked at this and now I know why…………and it takes a lot to get a chuckle out of Chucky!!! I was laughing all the way. So much fun. And naked painting, I’m quite sure could catch on. Hey maybe you need to start “The Naked Painter Studio”. It could be the latest whooper hit!!! Could become the latest chain store business………with window shades, of course. So glad you let go and had such fun with it!!! Mama’s proud of ya. xxoo

  2. Hmmm..”Naked Apron Painting”(?)….”Naked Apron Art” (?) “Naked Apron Art Academy”(?) The possibilities are endless! How about painting unique, one of a kind aprons with your own “Naked Apron Painting” logo for other artists to purchase and paint naked in? And then there could be matching undies with splashes of color for the modest crowd.

  3. Holly! You are just absolutely adorable!! And, I must say–FEARLESS!!! This is just so great! Thanks for sharing so openly about your process! BIG Hugs!

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